I got married on 20th April 2013 - Siraman, Midodareni and Akad (2)

Siraman 19th April 2013 Before Siraman - in my bedroom. Siraman is Javanesse tradition means ‘shower’ where the bride-to-be (or groom-to-be) showered with flowered water. The event symbolize cleansing of the heart, soul and mind before the marriage ceremony. Preceeded with ‘sungkeman’ or requesting forgiveness to the parents (or elders), they take in turn in showering the bride-to-be. I felt beautiful draped with a jasmine-woven wrap and prayer-led pouring by my loved ones. I felt the luckiest looking at my dearest Tati (grandmother)’s tearful smile as she savored each moment, pausing to catch my eyes, channeling love through her hand to my heart. My Tati and my long-time nanny, Mbak Uni My parents happily selling 'dawet' and the symbolic last spoon-feed After siraman, the tradition is for the parents to sell 'dawet' (comprise of cendol, which refers to the green jelly-like part of the beverage, with the combination of palm sugar and coconut milk). Look how happy they were! Afterward, signifying my symbolic departure from the nurturing haven of my parents, is the spoon-feeding ritual. Midodareni Midodareni roots from the Javanesse word ‘widodari’ means angel. The event must be held between 6 PM to 12 PM where the bride-to-be must not sleep as it is believed that during these moments that the angels come down and bestowed beauty to the bride-to-be. I opted to make an appointment with them amidst my slumber at 9 PM.  The event was also marked by the coming of the groom-to-be family where both families introduce one another. Traditionally the parents of the groom cannot attend. But our rule of thumb was: it is good to preserves tradition, but good-natured common sense comes first. The thing is about these traditions, most of them positions the bride and groom as non-opinionated objects where dialogues are exchanged between family reps only, or if chances were given, the dialogues were so meaningless (like the parents asking if the bride-to-be is certain to take the groom-to-be). I have two issues with that. First, it came accross as if I was an object who was courted by the male. To me, marriage, was a decision. Not a request. Second, we are two adults who had gone through hills to get here. It was our battle, it was our Everest. Leaving the dialogue to the family reps felt belittling out efforts. So we requested our time to speak. PS: if you noticed, the groom-to-be family are all wearing Minang traditional clothes (Teluk Belanga and Songket), whilst the bride-to-be family in Javanesse's (Beskap and batik cloth). What he said ... “Kepada keluarga besar Ir. H Arifin Sasongko dan Kel besar Dhani yg Dhani hormati dan sayangi...  Dhani ucapkan terima kasih yg amat sangat atas berkenannya utk mengiringi niat dan ikhtiar bersama Dhani dan Anggie utk menikah. Keputusan untuk menikah ini adalah hasil hati, ikhtiar dan pikiran Dhani dan Anggie bersama. Kami diberkahi waktu dan perjalanan ujian yang panjang untuk dapat berada disini. Untuk menjalani sisa hidup kami sebagai suami istri, insya Allah, tujuan kami tersebut sudah mantap.  Dengan segala kerendahan hati dan basmallah, Dhani mohonkan doa restunya.” What she said ...  "Papa dan Mama yg Anggie cintai dan juga kel besar Anggie dan Dhani:  perkenankan Anggie untuk menyatakan bahwa yg dikatakan Dhani benar adanya. Kami berbagi dunia sejak remaja, namun dipertemukan baru saat kami menempuh studi di tanah Inggris, tepat di saat kami mulai memupuk kedewasaan dan jati diri kami. Anggie sekarang adalah juga hasil Dhani, dan Dhani sekarang adalah juga hasil Anggie. Hanya dengan ijin Allah SWT, serta kebesaran dan kasih sayang keluarga kami berdua,dapat berada disini. Dengan diiringi basmallah dan kerendahan hati, Anggie mohonkan doa restu Papa dan Mama, serta juga keluarga besar.” Akad Nikah  20th April 2013 Guided by the barely audible whispers of istighfar from my father, Dhani and him completed the ijab kabul. Then I became someone else’s wife.  We grew up sharing the same world Yet cross path only when we were ready to discover ourselves in the land of the Angles We became us with never a forever in our minds Yet there have been no other us ever able to replace What is you is me, and what is me is you For us, we learned strength  For us, we learned will For us, we learned patience From us, we learned life Besar and Small, 20th April 2013